Keep on keepin' on...

I am so very appreciative of all of the support I've gotten over the past week! My family has been amazing, and all of my dear friends have been wonderful with offers of time, resources, and anything I need for help.

Thank you Mom & Dad for providing a familiar & comfortable place to stay and the excellent home-cookin' all week. Thank you Cheryl for coming to help last Sunday - taking pics and writing down inventory was pure drudgery, but your help & just being there on that long day was such a blessing - I so appreciate it!

The outpouring of support has been unbelievably heart-warming - I have so much to be grateful for today. Yes, the fire could've been much worse, and I'm certainly grateful all that will turn out fine in the end. But I'm most grateful to have the wonderful, generous, and true network of support I am blessed with these days.

No updates on the house or my stuff yet, but for the time being "no news is good news". I'll be getting all settled into my apartment starting on Monday, and I'm looking forward to that - it'll be a welcome return to some normalcy.

The Twin Cities Marathon is still on as planned, but I won't be pushing for Boston. These last few weeks of training have just been too messed up (yeah, I know some of that is supposed to be taper, but I've never really been much into tapering ;), and I don't think it would be wise to push that hard at the TCM. So, I'm thinking the BQ attempt will now most likely happen at the 2010 Grandma's - it's a great course for a Boston push. If not then, then sometime soon enough... It'll happen eventually - that much I promise!

My plans for the 2010 Ironman Wisconsin are still on. Because of the fire, I missed out on the opportunity to register in-person, but I decided that paying extra (lots extra!) for a Community Slot was still well worth it. While I hope this won't end up being my only 140.6 IM-sanctioned race, you just never know... So, I decided making my push for that as planned in 2010 was worth the extra money.

I'm determined that this ordeal will not stop me from going after my big plans. Maybe a speed-bump here & there, but overall? It's time to HTFU & FIDO ;)

In the end, when all is said and done, and I'm back settled in at my house, I don't think much will have been lost as a result of all of this. And I hope my house will end up with a few improvements too! In the meantime, I admit this is all a hassle & inconvenience, but I'm grateful that's all it is - there's been no loss of life, no grave injuries, and no loss of anything that can't ultimately be replaced.

Big picture: all is still good. Very good! :)

THANK YOU once more to EVERYONE for your love, support, and well-wishes!
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Now playing: sublime - what i got

I never thought...

...something like this would happen to me.

You see these insurance commercials on TV, and think "Those poor people. Hope that never happens to me". Well, it can!

Summary: Next door neighbor's house filled with gas. They were home (family of 5 - very nice, sensible people), and smelled the gas. They were in the process of opening windows, and clearing out when the Dad flipped a light switch in the basement (probably just out if habit) - then, BOOM - literally. The neighbors across the street said it was like a huge bomb went off.

The family all were either outside (Mom and baby) or got out of the house (dad and one daughter) with treatable burns. The other 10 year-old daughter was trapped in her room by the blast and needed to be pulled out by another neighbor who busted through a window to get her - she's suffered some internal bleeding from the blast, but is projected to make a full recovery. That neighbor is a great guy, and is a real hero!

It truly is a miracle none of them were killed - thank you, Lord!

It's all over the local news & newspapers today if you want to read more about it. My Mom said there was national TV coverage showing Obama boarding Air Force 1 at here in Minneapolis, and you can see the smoke from my fire in the background. Lovely. Not exactly how I wanted to be showcased on the national news...

One local news slideshow of pics can be found here Ugh. It's hard for me to watch.

The initial team of adjustors met me this morning. They did a walk-through and took pictures. There was a whole lotta "Oh, this doesn't look good", and they didn't stay very long. That can't be a good sign for me keeping the house, but I won't know for sure for a day or two. I will keep everyone posted on that...

Today, I am going to start my "list" - what I think I can save and what is lost. I'm not looking forward to this. I know it's going to be a long and very sad process. Please pray for my strength & spirit - I'll need it.

Some of my pics from the damage are here - it's a panicky mishmash from my iPhone and my other camera (all taken yesterday after I got on-scene), but it gives you a small idea of the damage: http://picasaweb.google.com/hydro311/FireDamage

Thanks to everyone for the messages, texts, voicemails, etc - I so very appreciate it - I can't express that enough!!! Please understand if I can't make individual responses to all right now - I'll do my best, but I am so completely overwhelmed right now - I appreciate your understanding, and please don't think I'm blowing you off or am not very appreciative of your support!

I will blog here with bigger updates and on Facebook too - thanks again to all - your prayers and well-wishes are so appreciated!

Resolution

I am confident that we've now seen the last of my stalker ex-gf and her rancorous harassment.

Earlier this week, she was confronted on the phone by one of her latest targets. She was advised on no uncertain terms that the harassment would cease immediately. She acknowledged that message, and stated it would not happen again.

To follow up on that, I have explored possible legal action that I myself can take. I've been counseled to provide her one final warning to forever cease all harassment and unsolicited communication to me, and my friends & family members. That has been done; I have emailed her that message today, and - God willing - that will be the last communication that I (or anyone else in my life) will ever have with her. I made it very clear what consequence would result if she were to disregard these messages.

In the future, if any of you out there receive any form of derogatory communication from her regarding your association to me (as I've mentioned before, it would be glaringly obvious in tone & content), please do let me know - I am now well prepared to escalate it immediately.

Thank you all for your support and help through this week - it's very much appreciated!
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Now playing: beastie boys - something's got to give

WARNING!

My unstable ex-girlfriend (for perspective here, that relationship ended 3.5 years ago!) is resorting to new lows in her ongoing efforts to wreak havoc in my life.

Because some close friends of mine have blocked her existing profile on Facebook, this girl is now creating fake Facebook profiles as a way to view people's Friends Lists, and is contacting other people's family members in an effort to "warn" them about me.

To put it mildly, that is crossing the line.

I would appreciate it if you (or anyone in your Friends List!) would please let me know if you get any harassing messages ranting about what a horrible person I am. There's no use in openly identifying her here, since she is now disguising her identity. However, any message from her would be exceedingly obvious in both tone & content.

If you are reading all of this and thinking, "Chris, WTF is this all about?!?", then please check out this previous blog post. I am happy to take any questions you may have about the whole situation, so please feel free to ask - I sincerely do my best to be openly accountable for my past actions & behaviors, and that previous blog post is a rather comprehensive summary of the situation and my side of the story.

Her malicious (but misguided) efforts here are cowardly and indicative of her ongoing psychological issues which she refuses to be accountable for - sadly, she believes that her attempts to trash my current life will somehow bring her peace and happiness. It's unfortunate that she still does not understand the all-too-well-proven "epic fail" in that line of toxic reasoning.

Today, I'm blessed to be surrounded with happy, healthy, and supportive family & friends - my close friends are well aware of this whole situation and are in my corner 100% - I am certainly grateful for that, but I am saddened that they are being unduly harried.

This recent harassment has gone too far, and it will no longer go unanswered.

Your attention and support here are much appreciated - thank you!
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Now playing: fugazi - bad mouth

Much like Brett and Lance, it's baaaack!

I've decided to keep on with the blog...

I just haven't found a better writing outlet idea, so I think I should just stick with this. Plus, I've gotten some feedback encouraging me to keep on with this one, and that's been cheering to hear. I'm grateful to learn that my recovery journey has been a source of experience, strength, and hope to some dear readers out there, and I feel an obligation to keep sharing insight into my ongoing recovery experiences.

I'll have a busy spring coming up, and am juggling a lot right now with the new job, getting ready for Grandma's, and lots more of just plain "getting out there" socially. So, I can't promise that I'll be posting near as much as I have in the past, but that's not necessarily a bad thing either!

So, please keep an eye out for new posts, and possibly a new look. Perhaps, a change of scenery around here is what I need ;)

Thanks again for all of your wonderful support and heart-warming comments - it's a blessing to have such great friends!
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Now playing: new order - every little counts

Retirement

I've decided to stop posting to this blog, and will now search for a new writing outlet. I'm not sure what that will be yet, but I'll figure it out over time...

This blog has been a wonderful refuge & release for my thoughts during a challenging and transformative period in my life, but it feels right to move on from here to something new at this point.

Thank you to all of my readers for your support and wonderful comments - I will try to keep you posted of what evolves next. You can always find me on email and FB in the meantime.

Take care & live well!
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Now playing: the sundays - good bye

New year updates

I apologize to my readers - I've not been a faithful blogger of late!

It's been a fantastic Holiday season, and wonderful start to the new year. Hosting Christmas Eve for my family went great - we all had a good time together catching up and celebrating Christmas. As usual, our traditional Evil Thievin' Game provided many laughs. A good time was had by all :) If you're on Facebook, look me up; I've put a few pics there from the evening.

Christmas weekend, I met up with my brother Shaun & his family for some skiing & snowboarding. We met up in Duluth, and then caravaned to The Porkies in Michigan's U.P. Again, a grand time had by all - I snowboarded all day Saturday, and then returned to The Cities on Sunday, but the conditions on Saturday were awesome. Nice temps (high 20s, no wind) and the snow was in great shape. I think I'll start making The Porkies an annual trip - I really enjoy it there!

New Year's Eve was a quiet one - I was still behind on sleep from the previous week/weekend. I fell asleep on my couch well before 10 pm. Pretty lame, I know, but it's all good.

The new job is working out very well - I'm getting settled in, and I'm very much enjoying it so far! A nice bonus is that I've been issued a work laptop and full capability to work remotely, so I'll be able to take advantage of that a couple days a week once I'm fully up & running. The extra pay isn't bad either ;)

I've been reuniting with more & more old friends (grade school, high school, USAF, others) via Facebook - that's a true blessing. I'm a happy camper! We had a grade school mini-reunion just prior to Christmas, and it was a hoot! It's been a lot of fun to catch up with folks. Hit me up if you are on it.

The new house is still working out just fine - the squirrel makes an occasional appearance when it's warmer out, but he's been otherwise quiet.

I broke down and bought a treadmill recently for wintertime running. I am a complete & utter wimp with cold-weather running, and I just couldn't take it any more. The treadmill is allowing me to get back on my desired training regimen, so I'm excited about that.

I'm reading C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity now, and I'm finding it very engaging. I'm a born & raised Catholic, and still consider myself that, but I've long struggled with the dogma of the Catholic Church as an institution. There's much about it that I have issues with. In my recovery, I've rediscovered a wonderful new spirituality and have (what I consider to be) a genuine & personal relationship with God, but I haven't yet tied that back into my Catholic faith, which has been a bit frustrating. I don't let that frustration take away from my relationship with God, but I'd eventually like to tie my spirituality back in with religion. I'm not there yet, but Mere Christianity is helping me to start bridging some of those gaps - a back-to-basics approach, if you will. So far, so good. Just as with my recovery, the keys to my ongoing spiritual development are Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness.

Life is good these days - really good. I have much to be thankful for! I hope your new year is also off to a great start!
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Now playing: massive attack - what your soul sings

Oh yeah, my blog...

I've been off the bloggin' train lately. No particular reason, just haven't been up to it.

Like all of you out there in Bloggersphere, I'm having a busy time of year. Updates follow in no particular order...

I'll be hosting Christmas Eve for my family at my new (I still call it "new", ha!) house. I think it will be great - everyone is planning to at least make an appearance, so it'll be wonderful to see all of the gang. It's been quite a while since we've all been together.

I'm excited for my new job to start in a week. For several reasons, I know it's going to be busy right from the start, but that's how I like it - nothing like jumping right in.

I've had a falling out with Verizon, and have finally jumped on the iPhone bandwagon. Wow - this thing may very well be The. Coolest. Thing. Ever. I've been waiting for the iPhone to go 3G and be opened up to 3rd-party apps, and Apple definitely has a winner with this thing. AT&T's coverage quality here isn't as impressive as Verizon's, but it is most definitely good enough. One of my favorite apps thus far is from good ol' MPR - all three stations seamlessly streamed? Sweeeet.

My new pet peeve is folks who disregard the Snow Emergency parking rules. C'mon, people - it's not rocket science to figure out where to park. To the juliet alpha with the POS Kia who parked in exactly the right spot to maximize plow overflow spewage into my front walk: Thanks for nothing. Next time I'm shoveling all of that snow on top of your car.

I'm heading back to The Porkies next weekend to meet my brother and his family there. I'm excited - the weather sounds like it will cooperate. I'm sure it will be a blast. Note to self: wax the board.

My recent reads include "Pride and Prejudice" and Irving's "The Fourth Hand". I'm a big Irving fan, and hadn't read that one in a while. I hadn't read P&P since high-school, and I enjoyed it much more this time around. Fantastic story. Next is more C.S. Lewis (thanks R!) with "Mere Christianity". I finished Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters" a while back, and was completely smitten with it. If you've never read it, it's well worth your time. It's a new all-time fave of mine...

I have so much to be thankful for this Holiday season - a loving & supportive family, wonderful friends near & far, a very promising new job, a cozy home of my own, a dependable car, and - most importantly - my sobriety. When I think back to what a complete mess I was just 3 short years ago, none of these things that I enjoy today seemed possible or within reach. By God's grace, sobriety has given my life back to me, and I'm determined to humbly make the most of it, taking nothing for granted. I know this is just the beginning of great new things for me, and I am ever grateful for this second chance at life.

Stay warm, park smart ;), and have a very Merry Christmas and Holiday season!
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Now playing: chuck berry - run rudolph run

Grateful

I was hired for the training job I've been after, so I am a happy camper! As the interview process went on (and on and on!), I was pleasantly surprised to make it to each new level, and I finally was presented with the offer. What a blessing - I think this will be a great fit for me, and I'm very much looking forward to getting started. This job was been freed up from our current hiring freeze, and I'll be starting after Christmas.

I came very close to not applying for this job at all, because I didn't think I had enough Bank experience for it. But experience is a relative thing - my lack of experience with The Bank is rather unimportant compared to the wealth of experience I have from the USAF as an instructor and training program developer. Those strengths are what got this job for me, and I'm very grateful!

When I first started submitted my app for this job, I blogged about a former mentor's quote: If you never ask the question, the answer is always 'No'. Indeed! As the interview process progressed, I believed more & more that this was a good fit for me, and I fought hard to get it. I'm very happy that it worked out - I'm excited to join this new team!
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Now playing: st etienne - join our club

Good day!

Whew - I made it through everything today fine!

My webinar presentation (for my interview) went very well, IMHO. It was well received, so that's encouraging. If I make the cut as one of the final two contestants, I will have to do one more interview with a boss higher up the chain, but I won't know either way until next week. I'm just happy today's presentation went well; this has been a most educational & helpful interviewing experience so far. What happens next is in God's hands...

The tree is finally GONE! Wow - there is a lot of sawdust all over my yard. And my neighbor's yard. Oh well, better some sawdust than a busted dead tree smashing through their roof ;)

The dentist appointment also went well - no repair work there needed at this time. Woot!

Tomorrow, the dryer repair guru comes. Hopefully that goes well too!

I'm looking forward to some time off now to clean up the yard, and get some stuff done around the house. Nice!
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Now playing: new order - world in motion

Thug squirrel pic

Yes, that is pepperoni pizza he's eating. Apparently, he's evolved up from simple acorns, to tortillas, and now pizza. He's getting crazy fat these days. Winter's a-comin'!
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Now playing: the dust bros - stealing fat

Busy week

...but a great week.

Next Weds, I have the final interview for the training development job I'm pursuing. I have to create and present a topic via webinar. It will be challenging since I don't use those collaboration software tools in my current job. I'm excited though - I'm confident that I will do well (as long as the software cooperates!) We are still on a hiring freeze, and it could well be that this job opportunity gets yanked at some point due to all of that, but this is all still welcome experience for me - I'll take what I can get!

I've been blessed to have another experience this week that has renewed & refreshed my outlook on relationships. This particular experience would be difficult to capture in a blog post, so I won't tackle that... I'll just say that it's beautiful to have an affirming, kind, and mutually respectful relationship where the give-and-take between each other is genuinely beneficial and equal in reward.

I suppose that doesn't seem like a lot to ask or expect (from either friends or potential significant others), but it seems so hard to find these days!

We are at different stages of our lives in many areas, and primarily because of those things, we had agreed up front what the expectations were. Our friendship began not out of the potential to 'get together', but instead to simply to be kind and affirming to one another at a time when we both needed it (and who doesn't? :) Everything was plainly out on the table from the start, with no pretense or posturing whatsoever. How refreshing that is!

It's amazing how quickly you can truly get to know someone when the silly fluff, wasteful posturing, and dodgy gamesmanship of mainstream gettin'-to-know-ya is bypassed. It's easy to get stuck or lost in those things and either not even realize it, or convince yourself that you are somehow further along (been there, done that!)

Our brief correspondence has evolved over the week to different level (hard to explain), and we won't communicate as much going forward now, and that's both OK and appropriate. This experience has been a valuable re-centering for me, and I am blessed and grateful for it.

I will certainly approach future relationship opportunities in a new manner!

A work in progress...
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Now playing: beck - where it's at

Happy Veteran's Day

... to all my uniform-wearin' bros and sisses out there (past & present). Thank you for your service to our great nation!
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Now playing: dos gringos - the legend of shaved dog's ass

Laziest. Weekend. Ever.

And I'm lovin' it.

I do miss last weekend's lovely weather though - this is quite a change! What I dislike most about wintertime running is trying to figure out how to dress for it. I own a respectable spectrum of cold-weather training gear, but it's hard to know what the right combo is on any given day. Meh, if that's my biggest gripe right now, I'm doing OK ;)

Thug Squirrel and his posse must be getting holed up for the winter. Yesterday, he apparently found a stash of tortillas in the neighbor's trash. He came running across the street 3 times with a big 10" tortilla in his mouth. It was funny to watch, because he couldn't run well or even see with it - he kept tripping over it dashing across the street, and then he twice bonked into my handrail trying to run up my front steps (he always takes the steps when invading my yard - it's rather strange!). But he wasn't letting go of them for anything. On his last trip, I chased him around the front yard a little bit just to hassle him, and he would not drop that thing despite being in a panic. Crazy squirrel.

I now have a date set for the tree coming down, so that'll be good to have done. I'm hoping it's a little warmer that week - I've taken a couple of days off work to do one final yard cleanup & gutter clearing after the tree is gone.

I fully resigned my USAF commission this week, and I am now 100% out of the military - no more oddball 'Reserve' status or anything like that. Although I was never really worried about getting called back up for anything, it's certainly a nice feeling to have all of those cords finally cut for good!

No news on any job stuff, but I don't expect to have any soon. Across the board, we are on a hiring freeze right now (lots of reasons), so I think I'll stay where I'm at for the foreseeable future. And that's fine - I'll just continue to keep my eyes open for opportunities.

Stay warm!
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Now playing: social distortion - cold feelings

Vote. But vote smart.

OK, one political post and then I'm done.

We are a nation at war. We are a nation facing our lowest levels of international confidence and support. We are a nation facing wide and deep domestic crises wreaking damages unseen for generations.

None of these things are insurmountable for our great nation if swift and decisive corrective actions are taken.

So please don't be stuck on stupid with your priorities going into the booth tomorrow. I got news for y'all: McCain's priority ain't gonna be overturning Roe Vs Wade. And Obama's priority ain't gonna be gay marriage.

Our next president and congressional leaders have urgent & looming challenges to address. And they're big ones. Bigger than most of us have ever seen in our lives.

I don't care who you vote for tomorrow. Just please vote smart - pick the right people for the right reasons.
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Now playing: kid rock - american bad ass

Life in the trenches

Over this weekend, my department at work moved to a new building. I went in this afternoon for a couple of hours to help set up my area. I like the new location! I've got a bigger cube, a huge window view (woot!), and a fancy new Aeron chair (comfy!).

The new digs really are very nice - it's a big improvement over our old location. No skimps by the brass with regard to setting it up well.

However, I'm starting to get that itch to move on to new challenges. Realistically, that may not be likely for another year or so (just a matter of establishing more experience), but I've been tweaking my resume, and I'm starting to send in apps to see what nibbles I get.

Fully understanding that my specific experience level with this company is the long pole in the tent for me, I'd be happy to just get some interviews under my belt for now. I learn so much from each interview I do, and each one helps me prepare more and be stronger for the next. So far, so good - I've got a phone interview this week for the first app I sent in. As part of the phone interview, I had to answer a comprehensive pre-interview questionnaire. Those too are hugely beneficial - it asked some great questions, and I'm glad to be challenged with thinking about those types of things once again. Putting that hat on helps me give due attention the ever looming "Am I on the right path to get to where I want to be?" question.

Of course, I will be thrilled if any of my current & future apps turn into an offer here in the near future, and who knows... Stranger things have happened! As a wise mentor once told me: The answer is always 'No' if you never ask the question.

Another gorgeous day here - it's been a wonderful weekend of running & mountain biking for me, and I'm grateful for it.
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Now playing: marty & elayne - staying alive

I say bollocks to "Endless Summer"...

... gimme "Endless Fall"!

This weather is effin' amazing! Great day today - much has been accomplished. I'm a happy camper. And I beat the onset of my cold - I was going to be one sad monkey if I wasn't 100% over this gorgeous weekend.

I'll post up more in the next day or two. Don't forget to fall back tonight!
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Now playing: the smiths - how soon is now

Must sleep...

I feel a fall cold starting to get its claws in me today, so I'm about to go to bed. Usually, if I can load up on vitamin C and get a good night's rest, I can fend it off early. Wish me luck!

Otherwise, it's been a good week - quiet, but good. I'll end this recent boring/bummer blogpost streak here soon, I promise! A busy weekend is coming up, and I'm looking forward to it...

I hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather - there may not be much more!
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Now playing: opus III - stars in my pocket

Clarification

Regarding my previous post -

I'm aware that parts and the whole of it are all quite vague. That is intentional. Those who know, will know. For the rest of y'all, more explanation may perhaps be a story for another time & place, but not here...

Sometimes, it helps me to write my way through something in order to arrive at my own resolution. That post was one of those times. It wasn't intended to paint a perfectly clear picture.

So, thanks for your patience - I'll return to more benign topics like evil squirrels, running blather, and whining about my gimp tree soon enough! I'm sure you are all on the edges of your seats in anticipation ;-)

Have a great start to the week!
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Now playing: soul asylum - spinnin'

Quick update

Squirrels:
Relatively quiet lately. They seem to be finished terrorizing the corn-stalk thing, and it's still standing tall. The paranoid in me wonders if they are quietly massing for some kind of new attack. Pretty soon, they'll have one less tree to heckle from & hide out in - and that's a good segue to...

"The Tree":
Final detailed estimate is in, and it's even 50% more than the original scary estimate. I had another estimate done, and it was similar. That's going to hurt the ol' pocketbook (or in this case, credit card!). Hurt a lot. But, it needs to be done - I'll tighten my belt a little bit, adjust the budget, and it'll all be fine eventually. Please pray that God doesn't decide to take the tree down before the tree service folks have a chance to!

Hair:
I can't resist anymore. I'm going to start growing it out again. I may just keep it extremely short & stubbly, but I'm curious to see my hair again. We'll see how it goes...

Stay warm!
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Now playing: louis armstrong - i was doing all right