Let It Go

It's a topic I've blogged about in the past, but letting go is on the agenda for tonight.

Maybe it's this time of year that gets me thinking about this. It's spring - the season of change and fresh growth. And it's around my birthday. I've never been one to celebrate my birthday much, but I will acknowledge that pesky question of "So, how's this whole life thing turnin' out for ya so far?" seem to gain volume & intensity around my birthday. Heck, I warned you in the last post that my head is a dangerous neighborhood! ;) So, for whatever reason, letting go has been on my brain lately...

I know as well as anyone that it's easy to get down on yourself when things don't seem to be going your way. With a little help of my friends, I am reminded that I shouldn't be frustrated or resentful that my will isn't being done. Even with little things. Sometimes, it's those little things that are the worst - as if they are some great personal injustice when everything else seems to be going so well. Am I grateful for those many other wonderful & good things? No, instead, there I am harrumphing on my pity-pot about some little bit of qweep that's not in accordance with my wishes. Quite silly, really.

So, let it go. Admit first that I'm trying to control things such that they meet my will for them. If I can do that early enough in the process, I can usually let it go fairly easily. Usually, that simple notion escapes me until I'm selfishly all tangled up. Then, it's hard for me to let go when I feel like I've invested blood, sweat, and tears - "I know it's imprudent, but I want some kind of return here, dammit!!" Haha, I realize that's pretty ridiculous even now as I type it, but I can be pretty darn thick-headed and irrational when it comes to such things.

So, how do I let it go then? One thing that helps me is to let it go by taking it back. When I'm wrapped up in some situation that's frustrating me, it's inevitably because I've surrendered the fate of my emotions to someone or something else - some kind of outcome. My emotions are mine to control - in the here & now. They are not in any way dependent on anyone or anything else. That's hard to remember when I feel invested in that outcome. Remembering that I alone control my emotions and that state of peace, happiness, and serenity is the only thing that will eventually pull me out and allow me to let go. So, I let go by taking back what's mine to control - my emotions and attitude.

Sounds reasonable enough, but it's definitely easier said than done. With lots of ongoing practice and a little help from my friends, I continue moving forward better and smarter. Progress, not perfection ;)

A work in progress...
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Now playing: the dust bros - this is your life