Weekly update

Well, I'm sure you've all correctly concluded from my lack of postings that the previously discussed house deal fell through. The seller's bank became completely unresponsive once they accepted my offer, and we finally just chose to walk away from the whole thing as a result. Oh well. It wasn't meant to be, and that just means a better, sweeter deal is out there for me. I looked at more properties today, and found some promising leads. I'll keep this one under wraps until it's closer to a done deal ;-)

Running suffered this week as a result of my on-again-off-again house scrambling, but that was completely expected. I'll get back into the swing of things again here soon, and get caught back up in training just fine.

Otherwise, it's a bee-yoo-tee-ful weekend - I'm blessed to spend it with family and friends. Life is great!
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Now playing: eclipse - movin' nicely (the modern jazz quartet)

Note to self...

Replacing a blown tube on Ubu is a PITA, thanks to her particularly finicky cup-and-cone hubs.

Oh well - at least it wasn't the rear wheel. After some maddening past wrenching experiments back there, I just don't have the patience to take that Rubik's Cube apart anymore. Drivetrain issues or anything that involves the removal of Ubu's rear wheel is the only thing I'll make a trip to the local bike shop for these days. On the plus side, Ubu's kevlar tires are still holding up like a champ - the tube leak was on a seam near the valve, so after a quick patch job, we're good as new!
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Now playing: limp bizkit - rollin'

Still no "green light"

The big hurdle was cleared earlier this week - the seller's bank accepted my offer. And that was certainly great news! However, in their acceptance documentation, they unexpectedly specified a closing date a little under two weeks sooner than I can be ready for. The mortgage assistance program I am taking advantage of has a 35-day processing period from offer acceptance, so that is the long pole in the tent. My excellent johnny-on-the-spot loan officer is ram-jamming the paperwork through the system as fast as possible, but we are still waiting for a written sign-off from the seller's bank regarding the closing date before we press ahead with our inspection, etc.

I was hoping to have word by today, but no joy. Meh. I suppose no news is good news for the time being - I just have to be patient. My realtor (another rock star!) is aggressively doing his best to negotiate the push, and I'm confident we'll have word by early next week. We don't see why the bank would have an issue with the slightly later date, but stranger things have happened. So, I'm not getting too excited just yet - we still have a ways to go. Even if the bank signs off on the closing date, I'll still have to see my inspector's results before I decide to keep moving forward on this one. Regardless of how this one turns out, it's definitely a great learning experience!

Off to bed for now - my busy weekend starts early tomorrow morning with a 10-miler. Burn, baby, burn!
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Now playing: fugazi - waiting room

Busy!

Ugh. I've been a bad blogger again lately. Lots going on, but not really much exciting or definite to report on right now...

Marathon update: As anticipated, my plans to maintain an aggressive training plan with morning runs is suffering due to the house hunt. I haven't stopped my training, but it's slowed down again in the last couple of weeks as the house-hunting efforts have intensified. It's just one more give-and-take with my available time, and I just have to keep doing the best that I can. I did 10 miles on Saturday, and I'm feeling fine overall today, so that's a good sign! My savvy friend has been training this season with a couple of her friends - they have been doing longer distance runs on Saturday mornings, and I'm going to start running those weekly with them. Running those longer distances with a group is definitely helpful - I'm very grateful they have welcomed me into their training circle! This week, I did an 'expert' shoe-fitting and got some excellent overall running shoe advice from Run N Fun. That simple effort was long overdue - I'm very happy with this new pair of shoes I scored, and the confidence gained from making a well-informed decision is definitely reassuring.

House update: I have made my first offer on a house this past week, but it's a "short sale" situation, so that adds some additional hurdles to get over. Ultimately, the offer has to be approved by the seller's bank, and it could take a while to get a response. So far, so good... I really like the house, but I'm not getting my hopes up at all - if it's meant to be, then it'll work out. If not, then c'est la vie... In the meantime, I'm still planning to get out with my realtor this week to look at more listings.

Hair update: I went to get the mop cleaned up a couple of weeks ago, and they ended up taking off more than I intended. When asked where I went to get it done, my response was received with a tsk-tsk. Apparently, I should start going to a "real" stylist in order to properly maintain the longer hair & curls. When I though about it, that does make sense, so that's what I'll do next time. As I've mentioned before, I know my hairline is making a steady retreat, so I want to make the best of it while I can!

Overall, my previously very quiet social life has blossomed this spring into a lot of new activities & obligations - and that's a wonderful thing! I am--of course!--very happy about that, but definitely requires me to budget my available time more carefully. Gone are the days of having plenty of "me time", but I much prefer it this way ;-) Things will settle back down significantly when this house-buying adventure concludes one way or another, but I know that point is still a long way off.

I'll post up again when I have more news; until then, thanks for putting up with my blogging slow-roll!
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Now playing: jane's addiction - the riches

Great meeting tonight...

Particularly excellent AA meeting tonight!

One friend who I first met while doing my out-patient treatment at Hazelden celebrated his '3 years' tonight - what an inspirational transformation & journey he's had in those 3 years! He truly lives The AA Program earnestly, and has long been a shining example to me of the success that humble & sincere effort will bring. It was great to see him tonight and celebrate his 3 years!

Another long-time friend from my Thursday night group has recently started to attend the meeting once again after having been away for quite some time. It turns out he suffered a relapse during that time - but he is now back with renewed humility and determination, and he announced tonight that he was celebrating his '32 days'. Again, it was wonderful to be there and commemorate that with him - he's a fantastic guy, and it's great to see him back on the beam!

Sobriety anniversaries, both big & small, are great things to celebrate in recovery meetings - the experience, strength, and hope shared by those who are marking an anniversary always leave me with an astute takeaway - whether it's the insight of someone celebrating just 24 hours, or someone celebrating 35 years. All good things!

Tonight, we covered Step 11 - "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out"

This Step always reminds me of a favorite quote:

"Do not pray for easy lives, rather pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, rather pray for powers equal to your tasks." -- Phillips Brooks

Or, as my Mom once told me, "God will not test you beyond your capabilities." Sometimes, that can be very hard to believe! But I must believe it; I cannot persist and grow if I do not accept that truth. And the strength to do that can only come from a sincere spirituality and complete trust in God's will.

This week has seen some challenges for me that definitely relate to Step 11. Even something as 'small' as my whole house-buying effort - I must be careful not to get headstrong or greedy or too self-reliant as I move forward in this process.

But perhaps more tangibly, I've recently had an unwelcome intrusion into my personal circumstances. The details are unimportant, but what I learned from that was echoed thoughtfully in tonight's reading and discussions.

My first reaction was this recent challenge was to explain, explain, explain, and even blame, blame, blame... But that's not the right answer - that's my EGO (Edging God Out) trying to steer the course. Sure, some explanation was necessary to work through it all; but ultimately, I knew the true answer was that key to both my sobriety & peacefulness: Acceptance.

And acceptance ain't always easy, but I've found these three things help me get there...

1.) be sincerely present
2.) be willing to do the next right thing, and take positive action
3.) be truthfully and humbly accountable

When I can accept, I know I have the capability to persevere, and remain spiritually & emotionally healthy. This foundation gives me the strength to not succumb to blinding emotion inevitably resulting in debilitating inaction, or selfish & misguided maneuvering. I have, can, and still do suffer from all of those things at times - I am still only human, after all! But acceptance not only allows me to more often prevent that, but also to then recover from my missteps in a responsible manner when they occur.

This recent challenge could well have resulted in a disparaging loss for me, and I immediately prepared myself for that possibility by accepting that God's will be done, not mine. I don't know how many times I said both that phrase and The Serenity Prayer to myself that evening, but it was a lot!

Even if things hadn't ended up working out so well, I still would've trusted & accepted that it was God's will for this situation - even though it would have been very difficult (to say the least!). One thing is for certain - I would've been on the phone with my sponsor about the whole thing a heckuva lot more than I have been! ;-)

So, as I blogged about a while ago, acceptance truly is the answer - especially when things aren't as we would desire!

A work in progress...
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Now playing: big drill car - a take away

It's on like Donkey Kong!

I've decided to finance with another lender (sorry USAA!), and had a meeting with my loan officer this morning to go over & sign all of the papers, and crunch "the numbers" for houses in the areas I'm interested in - and it all looks good-to-go! I'm cleared for the loan amount that I was looking to get, and the monthly payments look like they'll work out just fine. Best of all, I'll need no down payment! Between me putting cash up for earnest money and tax payments prior to close, it looks like I'll actually walk away from the closing table with a nice-sized check for myself - pretty sweet deal!

I had to finance with a "local" lender in order to qualify for the City Living program (score!), and between that program and my VA loan, it's nice not to have any worries about fronting a big down payment - I'm very excited that all of this is working out so well!

Next week, I'll be going out to look at houses at least two evenings during the week, and I'm now completely ready to confidently start making offers - how cool is that?

Time to start pouring through the listings in earnest again...
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Now playing: the church - metropolis

Big smiles!

I've had an absolutely fantastic weekend! I got in some great long-distance runs, and I'm blessed to have been able to spend much of the weekend with a certain savvy someone who's become very special & dear to me. I met & spent time with some terrific folks who are close friends of hers, and I was honored to have that privilege - I know that's not an easy or comfortable step in a new relationship. And I'm very grateful to her for that! Life truly is good...

And I'm also grateful that she had cold, hard cash for our lovely Grand Old Day adventure! ;-) Note to self: Visa is not everywhere I want it to be.
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Now playing: sarah vaughan - fever

Why I do what I do

I started this blog primarily to document my Recovery experience, both good & bad. It has been a therapeutic way for me to share insight into this epic journey of mine with family & friends by providing a convenient way for me to express things that I may not be ready or willing to talk directly about for whatever reason.

And, hopefully for others, it has been an effective advocation for the miraculous capacity of the 12-Step recovery program by sharing my own experience, strength, and hope.

Over time, my blog has grown into a place to share all sorts of things about me. Because of my success in recovery, The Promises of AA are all steadily coming true, and I am genuinely gaining back my life (on life's terms!) - an unbelievably fantastic & exciting new version of it.

At different points, I've considered restricting access to my blog, or starting a new blog for various different things, but I've always finally decided that this blog must stay public, open, and available to all. If I'm not comfortable sharing what I have share with everyone & anyone, then that hints at some personal unrest or paranoia, and those aren't healthy things for me to enable or foster.

Sure, there are occasionally some topics that I'd initially love to blog (i.e. vent) about, but in the end, those wouldn't be productive or healthy things for me to highlight or dwell on anyway. Recovery has taught me the value of letting go and personal housecleaning & mindfulness, so harboring or validating any feelings which breed a sense of unrest or resentment for me is very counter-productive. In that sense then, this blog also provides me a very tangible reality check whenever I sit down to post.

So, any & all will always be welcome here to my blog - I hope that you find overall my experiences shared here a hopeful & bright testament to the miracle of Recovery.

I still am (and always will be!) far from perfect, and I certainly make mistakes as I move forward; but today, I am willing, able, and strong. Just two short years ago, I was none of those things. By the grace of God, I will continue sincere & humble effort in strengthening and nurturing my Recovery journey - after all, it's one I will be on for the rest of my natural life ;-) Thanks for stopping by - enjoy!

A work in progress...
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Now playing: nina simone - feeling good