Yoga = Fun

Good times, good times! It's definitely not easy; I knew it was going to be challenging getting those tight winterized muscles of mine stretched out, and whoa doggie - I am going to be feeling this tomorrow!

I am really diggin' it though - this meditative exercise integrates such a unique spiritual element. It's the perfect activity for me right now as I prep to hit the running and biking trails in force this spring. I am so pleased that I finally started doing yoga!
----------------
Now playing: kris kross - warm it up kris

Get smart

Excellent community ed class tonight on Home Buying 101. I must say that I was very impressed by the course content and the instructor's career experience. I definitely am walking away from it much smarter and more savvy on the process than I expected to be. I now have some great resources at hand to start crunching numbers and begin earnest work in making my goal a reality. Who knows - I may well discover that now is not in fact the right time for me to make this move when the dust all settles, but at least I'll know, ya know? I'm just tired being at the "Gee, I wonder if..." stage of things, so I'm happy to be gettin' my learn on.

----------------
Now playing: jimi hendrix - are you experienced?

Drool

Me likey. Me want.

----------------
Now playing: metallica - wherever i may roam

Look what came in the mail...

JURY DUTY, baby!
I'll be on the hook for Dakota County for the first two weeks of March. I'm looking forward to it, actually. I've wondered when my number would come up for this. A co-worker of mine recently did it, and some of us were talking about who's done it, who hasn't, what it's like, etc. So, it's rather ironic that I get called up this week. It should be an interesting experience!
----------------
Now playing: sonvolt - carry you down

U.P. or bust!

I've got some time off scheduled for early Feb, and after making sure the taxes went as planned ;) I'm heading up & over to the U.P. for a long weekend of snowboarding. I'm very excited! I hope that famously bountiful lake-effect snow keeps on a comin' for the next several weeks! I'm not sure yet if I'll try to brave Bohemia for one of the days, but I'll see when I get up there. There are some great package deals out there to be had, and I was fortunate to negotiate a good one.  Giddyup!
----------------
Now playing: trash can school - silver surfer

A taxing experience

I did my taxes last night, and it all worked out just as I hoped it would - I owe a small amount to both Uncle Sam and MN. That's how I like it - I'd rather have all of my money throughout the year, and owe a little bit at tax time. I don't understand these people who get excited about huge refunds - heck, that just means the Government had all that money of yours all year long - it could've been in your hands all that time to invest and make use of! It's not like that refund is some sort of "free" money - it's just the Government finally giving back the money that was really yours to begin with; why let them hold on to it that whole time (and be able to make make money off of your money)?

There are so many fantastic resources "out there" to do your taxes. I was able to e-file both my Federal and State completely for free, and it was all dead easy & hassle-free to do - what a cool deal!

Check out the IRS site and your state's tax site (MN here) - they have a bunch of links to online tax prep sites, and you may very well qualify to do it all online for no cost at all. Zero, zip, nada!

Also, for MN residents, be sure to get your documentation for the MN Property Tax Refund - this is done completely separate from your state taxes, and is well worth the effort. Even if you are a renter, you'll qualify to get a nice chunk of cash back (in most circumstances). Nice!
----------------
Now playing: living things - bom bom bom

Rockin' the Marketplace

I'm a long-time NPR junkie. And here in the Twin Cities, we are hella spoiled with excellent talk & music options on Public Radio.

One of my favorite shows is Marketplace. As a regular drive-time listener of both the morning and evening segments, I'm consistently impressed with the quality, breadth, and average-joe understandability of that financial reporting. And, I must admit, I really dig the the music bites they play in between stories. To name a few, I've heard Operation Ivy, Soundgarden, Screaming Trees, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, My Bloody Valentine, Opus III, Joy Division, The Stone Roses, The Cure, and then one day this week - Sonic Youth's Teenage Riot. The bites don't include the vocals, so I'll often have that "Oooh! Oooh! I know this song!!! Whatisitwhatisitwhatisit..." moment during the segment, and then I'll finally place it.

So, anyway, I got a kick out of mixing in some old-school Sonic Youth while talkin' The Numbers. Makes me smile.
----------------
Now playing: sonic youth - teenage riot

Surrender

In my military career, I was fortunate to have several training experiences that pushed me to my psychological and physical limits. This was both intentional & necessary - it was imperative that we learn what these limits were, so that we could recognize when we were approaching them in a real-world situation. Pilot Training, Resistance Training (POW simulation), and Weapons School all pushed me harder in terms of mental and physical stress & endurance than anything I'd experienced previously. In those training environments, I witnessed strong, able, & confident people hit their wall and break down - either psychologically, physically, or both. Some were able to recover & continue, and some were not.

Again, the point was to discover what we were made of, and to determine if we would be able to handle the very unique challenges that military aviation presents. At stake was something much more than a "pass/fail" grade - it was an opportunity to really look inside yourself and discover what was really there. Nothing else in my life had previously come remotely close to testing me like these experiences did.

However, the biggest test I have faced in my life is my alcoholism. Here, my insidious psychological and physical breakdown was very real, and it was life-threatening. Faced with the reality of the grave nature of my disease, I didn't know if I was brave enough to deal with it. Suicide was something I seriously considered more than once. However, by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA I have found the path to recovery - and thus a full, rich, and sincerely happy life. Like my military peers who struggled in training, I have witnessed many of my peers in addiction not "make it" - however, here the stakes are clearly much higher. In every regard, I am blessed and fortunate to be where I am today - I am a stronger & better person than ever before.

Is there a connection between what I learned from my military experiences and what I've gone through in my recovery journey? Absolutely!

It's surrender. Surrender ego and self-will. Surrender to letting go.

In this context, surrender does not imply self-defeat. Rather, it implies a brave willingness to humbly & honestly understand the circumstance, so that right action can be taken.

Why then is this form of surrender so often difficult to accept and put into everyday practice?

A work in progress...
----------------
Now playing: jane's addiction - ocean size

Cari-Booooo

I should be in bed right now, sleepily reading that whatever part in my book which I'd normally have to read all over again tomorrow night because I'm half asleep, but instead, I have the urge to reorganize my kitchen cabinets, paint my living room, or perhaps hand-whittle an entire oak dining room furniture set from a single tree using only my Leatherman because I'm WIDE FRIGGIN' AWAKE.

Yeah, thanks for that "decaf" large coffee tonight, 'Bou barista. Nice work.
----------------
Now playing: smashing pumpkins - tonight, tonight

Comm Ed

Honestly, I've never really looked through any of the Community Ed catalogs I get seasonally. However, there's some great stuff in here! Now, I'm not saying I'm going to sign up for anything more than the real estate class just yet, but I'm definitely considering some different things...

I'd love to do a rookie yoga class. I think that would make a fun late-winter / early-spring activity. Unfortunately, I have commitments the nights they are offered through community ed. I'll have to research some studios (gyms? yurts? what are yoga joints called?) close to me. I know of several that I could hit right after work or on the way home, so maybe I'll just have to do that whole pack-the-workout-duds deal. Not the end of the world. OK, I'm gonna make this happen in the next couple of weeks. Less talk, and more Downward Dog.
----------------
Now playing: st etienne - you're in a bad way

Polite dinner conversation?

I've been asked when I'm going to start commenting on the Presidential campaigns.

I don't have any plans to.

Politics, along with sex and religion, aren't things I discuss with just anybody & everybody. It's a matter of opinion (of course), but I consider these three topics in particular to be rather personal, and I don't generally feel that my blog is an appropriate vehicle to push my viewpoints on said topics. Not that I don't have opinions, thoughts, and convictions on these things - I certainly do! I'm simply judicious about the "who, where, when" of such engagements ;)

On that theme, please don't confuse my often-discussed spirituality with religion. I want to be very careful not to imply an association between the AA 12-Step Program and any sort of organized religion - there is unequivocally ZERO mandated, implied, or otherwise connection between those two entities whatsoever. An old-timer AA once explained it this way: "Religion is for people who don't want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those who don't want to return there."
----------------
Now playing: elvis vs jxl - a little less conversation

Not Mac Daddy, but...

...we're working on him next. My Mom is the latest Windoze-to-Mac convert. I helped get her up & running tonight with her gorgeous new iMac, and even I was amazed at how dead easy the transition went. I don't know how Apple could make it much easier. Quite impressive all around!

I think we'll even finally get Dad comfy using the wild world of the internet on the new dream machine...

Good on ya, Mom - welcome to the club! Wicked proud!
----------------
Now playing: utah saints - something good

Back to the classroom

I signed up for a community ed "real estate for dummies" crash-course on home buying at the end of January. Seminars like these always make me wary. It's being put on by a local realtor, and although the course is not sponsored by his agency, I wonder how objective it will be versus just an opportunity for this guy to expand his client list with unsuspecting fresh meat. Sheesh, I really am a skeptical ol' codger, aren't I? But, you have to start somewhere, and this seems as good of place as any.

Real estate, auto, and investment marketers all make me circumspect. I'm always anxious about handing over large amounts of my money to someone who (in the end) is just trying to turn a buck off of my dough. Do they really have my best interests in mind? I fear I'm overly pessimistic & skeptical in these situations, and my defense is always to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can. But, ultimately, that self-learning only goes so far, and I have to yield something to their expertise & experience. Armed with knowledge, the next step is to build trust. And trust is not always an easy nut to crack for Team Chris ;)

I'm curious to see how the course goes. And many thanks to J, my awesome sis-in-law. Your help so far has been great - I'm not done picking your brain yet, haha!
----------------
Now playing: U2 - hold me thrill me kiss me kill me

TGIF

Whew! COB Friday could not come soon enough this week. It's been a long week at work, and I was definitely feeling it today. Which is not a good place for me - when I get tired, my ability weakens to keep my still-too-often (yeah, yeah, I know... I'm working on it!) sarcastic & egotistical inner monologue "inside". More than once today, I had to make a graceful exit with the most sincere tight-lipped smile I could muster because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth at all, the only thing that would come out would be: "Go pound sand, you clown-show!" Or something equally unhelpful to that effect ;) Yep, one of those days. So...

Patience.  Deep breath.
Tolerance
Get off my pity-pot
Big picture
Will it matter in 10 years? In 2 hours even?
Why do I sometimes give others permission to control my emotions?
Serenity prayer
Baby steps, baby. And just one at a time.
Gotta stay on that road of progress, even if it's verrrry slow moving sometimes!
----------------
Now playing: love and rockets - jungle law

Rant switch - ON

Escalator handrails that move faster or slower than the escalator stairs.

My last several shower-poofs-on-a-stick. Two weeks tops. Then they self-destruct mid-shower à la one of those prank snakes-in-a-can. Rotten luck with these things lately.

Folks on the Light Rail at rush hour who are either too 'cool' or too dim to simply hold on, and then bumble heavily into me or step on my feet (or more commonly, both) in their stupefied amazement that Newton's Laws of Motion apply even to them. And they're just as surprised again when it all repeats mere moments later. Oy.

In mid-brush, losing my grip on the Braun electric toothbrush, and then trying to grab the stupid slippery thing as it bounces around and vibrates toothpaste spatter all over the place. Among other times, this will inevitably occur the evening of the day I clean my bathroom.

Rant switch - OFF
----------------
Now playing: the white stripes - seven nation army

Sweeeet.

Shorts and flip-flops today. Just because.
----------------
Now playing: echo and the bunnymen - people are strange

In search of...

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, but I do have one for '08: To buy my first home. Now that we are in the new year, I guess it's time to start grabbing this bull by the horns. It's rather intimidating, but it's also very exciting! Baby steps for now, I just want to be as smart as possible as I work through this process - so I'm still just very early in the research/homework phase. I'll post up on my adventures, miscues, & successes as I work through this whole endeavor. Perhaps my experience can benefit others. Or maybe just serve as a warning. We'll see. And on that theme - any of your own sage advice, 'been there, done that' stories, or 'watch out for this...' experiences are all most welcome!

And so the adventure begins...
----------------
Now playing: badly drawn boy - all possibilities

Getcha some 9-mike-mike

A certain acquaintance recently asked me what kind of gun I had.
"I don't own a gun."
"But, you were in the military..."
"Indeed I was."
"Well, don't you like guns then?"
"No, I've never been very comfortable around guns."
"???"
So, I told my story...
It's true that I did have to maintain shooting proficiency as a USAF pilot. This required me to qualify on the standard-issue aircrew sidearm (currently the Beretta 9mm) every 24-30 months. I loathed going to 'the range' to qualify. Each time I went, I was sure that would be the time they finally discovered that I had no business whatsoever handling a firearm...

I didn't grow up in a household with guns around, and didn't even have a BB gun as a kid. The first time I ever shot a gun in my life was in college when I did an Air Force base visit as a ROTC cadet. At that time, they were using the S&W .38 instead of the 9-mike-mike. I didn't know we were going to actually shoot that day, and I was all hella beyond nervous when I was finally standing on the line with a no-kidding loaded weapon. At that time, we weren't stopping at all during the qualification sequence to check our progress - only at the very end did you learn the results. My compatriots all had more shooting experience than I, and were all very excited to learn their scores. I, on the other hand, nervously cracked jokes and did my best to explain away what I anticipated were going to be incredibly embarrassing results. I feverishly worried that they may possibly even take away my pilot slot - "Get a load of this kid's shots! Sheesh, we can't find any evidence that he hit the target at all! Maybe we need to find him a desk job - clearly this pansy is not the 'turn 'em into hair, teeth, & eyeballs' killing machine we are looking for..." Holy shnikees, I was nervous. As it turns out, I actually qualified Expert Marksman by some complete fluke. I was even able to carry that qualification over once I entered Active Duty.

And it was a fluke - pure dumb luck at its finest. I tried to tell people that when they noticed my decoration, but they would insist that I must be a natural. Ugh. To put it mildly, I was fearful of the next time I had to go the range to qualify. When I finally did, the guy running the range looked over my record, nodded his head impressed, and remarked that he was looking forward to seeing me shoot. He even asked me to give pointers to the class during the academic portion prior to actually going to the range. "Oh, no, thank you for offering, but I don't think that would be a very good idea", I modestly declined, adding in my mind, "...And you'll find out why soon enough."

As expected, my luck from the previous experience did not carry over. While I did actually qualify, it wasn't by much at all. But, at least I had 'passed'. I was ecstatic! The range supervisor stared puzzlingly at my bottom-tier tally.
"I don't understand", he says, "Are you not feeling well today or what?"
"Errr, yeah, something like that, I suppose. Maybe just not my day, I guess"
"Well, it's good enough by the regulations", he said disapprovingly as he signed off my qualification paperwork, "So I suppose you are all set for now". The look on his face was pure disappointment.
"Thanks, see ya in a coupla years", I said, secretly doing a happy dance on the inside. Haha, I managed to fool 'em all again! And so it went each & every time I had to go to the range to qualify - I did manage to barely qualify each time, but it was never pretty.

For most of the combat missions I flew, it was not a prerequisite that the entire crew had to 'arm up', but occasionally, that was the directive. I dreaded those few times. I felt like a moron going to pick up my weapon, and then again when returning it. Instead of trying to bluff my way through the weapons-issue/turn-in processes, I would just openly admit that I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and then promise the skycop responsible for the guns that I wouldn't ever remove the thing from my holster if (s)he would help me with inspection, clearing, etc. I always got that "And you are a pilot?!?" look of disbelief, but in the name of safety, they were always willing to make sure I didn't buffoonishly shoot them, myself, or anyone else during the transfers.

So, my friend then asked:
"What if you ever needed to actually use the gun?"
"Well", I explained, "I'm sure I could handle it fine if my life depended on it."
But, the truth is that if it actually ever came down to me (as the Aircraft Commander) ever having to use my 9mm to save the day, then something has gone horribly, horribly wrong - as in 'none of us are making it out of this pickle alive anyway' wrong. I took a lot of solace in that fact, and hoped that day would never come. It didn't.

I don't expect to ever shoot a gun again in my life. And that's just peachy by me.
----------------
Now playing: beastie boys - looking down the barrel of a gun

Who's yo daddy now?

I've definitely got this crud on the ropes now, and it feels great to be getting back to 100%. Did I mention that I hate being sick? Good day back at work - lots accomplished, and I got to catch up with some folks who had been gone for the Holidays. Good stuff! And tomorrow's Friday - how cool is that? Niiiiice!
----------------
Now playing: fluke - atom bomb

Sicced by sick

I hate being sick. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I called in sick today (I don't even remember the last time I've had to do such a thing), not so much because I feel that ass-kicked by whatever bug I've caught, but rather because I must be wicked contagious - the sheer volume of icky phlegm very steadily flowing out of my nose and lungs is just not cool at all. When I woke up this morning, it simply wouldn't stop. Have you ever had the sensation you can feel all of that extra crud literally sloshing around in your sinuses? My head felt like it weighed an extra 10 pounds this morning. Oddly enough, I didn't have a headache per se, my head just felt like it was under attack and tired of fighting - all sluggish & thick (haha, OK, no jokes about how I may or may not normally be thick-headed; we can debate that some other time). I'm trying to pound as much liquids and vitamin C as my body can stand, and I must admit that time off here to rest easy, and lounge in hot bath after hot bath is definitely welcome & helpful. I'm already feeling somewhat better (knock on wood), and I hope I can get on the other side of this mofo by tomorrow morning - I definitely want to get back to work. One, to catch up (!), and two, because being stuck home alone & sick is all hella boring. Ugh.  Shoot me.
----------------
Now playing: dinosaur jr - puke + cry

Eeek! A "light"!

What's THIS?!? An amber-colored light on already in my new car?!? Ellie, yer killin' me over here. *sigh* As I was pulling away from my sister's place today on my way home, I notice the 'tire pressure low' light on. Which is a little spooky since I was wondering earlier in the day if I should check out my tire pressures sometime soon. Anyhoo, I (of course) fear the worst - did I run over a nail? Is she 'pulling' at all? Am I leaning? Maybe a little? Or is that my imagination? Oh, the suspense!!! I decide I would go to a nearby SA and check it out...

Not much of a surprise, but air is not free anymore, like when we were kids pumping up our bike tires. Oh well, I fished out some quarters and stepped out, praying feverishly that I would not see a hideously deflated tire. I didn't, so that's good. Although my front right did look a smidge low (in my expert opinion), so I fired up the air-thingee and went to task. Did I mention it's really friggin' cold?!? And brave manly me decided this simple job didn't warrant wearing sissy outerwear like my readily-available-in-the-car gloves. After somehow managing to unscrew part of the air-thingee itself and nearly breaking it, I finally was able to add some air (I think). But the gauge on the air-thingee was worthless, and my own Wally World tire gauge wasn't inspiring any more confidence in determining if all those whooshing air sounds were me actually adding air, or just fumbling more out of the tire.

"Umm, yeah, that oughtta do it", I comforted myself, wondering if that dead, wooden quality my fingers had developed alarmingly quickly in the last few minutes would be permanent or otherwise debilitating. I decided that I'd get Ellie back in the garage and let her sit a few hours - at least if I needed to change a tire, it wouldn't then be out in the bitter cold. Despite my best efforts at maintaining positivity & thinking happy thoughts, the warning light remained on as I pulled away from SA. However, it mercifully then did extinguish just as I was pulling into my driveway. "Whew!", I thought, "See, I do ROCK!" As I congratulated myself on my deft mechanical aptitude, it pessimistically occurred to me that maybe a mouse just chewed through a wire or something like that. Ugh. That unhelpful committee in my head drives me nuts sometimes.

Well, it's been a few hours, and the tires all still look OK (thanks for that, Buddy Jesus!). We'll see what the light does tomorrow morning; heck, I'll be ready ;)
----------------
Now playing: primus - jerry was a race car driver

Dreams. Those crazy dreams...

As some of you may or may not know, I can't remember dreams I have. It rather irks me because I do know that I have some hella crazy interesting dreams. Once in a while, I'll remember a snapshot or brief sequence or a single line from a dream, but I usually don't remember much of anything.

I do know that I often have recurring places and people in my dreams - the kicker is they are not people I've ever met, or places I've ever visited. To the best of my knowledge, none of these people or places even exist in reality. It's odd when I am dreaming and find myself in or around 'that house' again, and say to myself, "Gee, Self, ain't this odd... Here we are back at this same strange-yet-oh-so-familiar dream house, I wonder what's going to happen here tonight. Well, here we go..." And then I don't remember anything significant, other than being able to consciously use my knowledge of that particular house or building from a previous dream to my advantage in my current dream - even though the overall circumstances or storyline of the dreams are otherwise completely unconnected. I may run into the same faces and places, but they are aren't necessarily the same people from dream-to-dream. And those same houses or buildings? One dream it may be in a cornfield, and the next, it may be in some downtown warehouse district. It's all quite bizarre.

At any rate, I really wish I could remember my dreams. They would make for very interesting stories, to say the least. I don't ever dream about having super-powers, or traveling in time or space, or anything nutty like that. I just have some really unusual yet semi-plausible adventures. Rarely anything ever to do with things currently going on in my life (as much as I can correlate), it's just my brain doing its own crazy thing on its downtime.

For instance, this morning, I woke up and remembered one line - something to the effect of "We have secured the battery, and taken care of the peasant". I don't know if I said it, or was being told it. I do know those weren't code words - only I would have a dream that somehow managed to involve an actual peasant and a battery. Yep, that all sounds about right...

Welcome to my world. Grab a helmet - it's an adventure!
----------------
Now playing: the pop will eat itself - dance of the mad bastards