What to say?

Not long ago, a very good friend passed along to me some of the best advice I've ever heard. Yes, "The Golden Rule" and "just do the next right thing" are all well & good, and certainly are noble & sage guidance, but this bit I like even better. It's more tangible to me - easier to wrap my head around...

So often, it is our frustrations in dealing with others that puts us off balance or otherwise off our desired path. When you have something to say to another person, first consider these three questions: Is what I have to say honest? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

With "honest", that doesn't mean it must be absolutely true, if such a thing can't be determined. But is it heartfelt? Is it said with no selfish or self-serving motivations? Is it sincere?

With "kind", that doesn't mean it has to be sugar-coated or watered-down. But is it said without sarcasm? Without arrogance? Without ridicule, unjustified anger, spite, or resentment?

With "necessary", that's rather self-explanatory. Do I really have something of value or assistance to say, or am I just talking to inflate my own ego (in my own eyes and/or other's) or otherwise fill empty space? Am I being clear? Is my message being lost in too much "fluff"?

I'm working hard to integrate this into my life, and the results are sublime when I do - for me, other people, and the circumstance at hand. It is an amazingly helpful tool. But I still often fall well short; this deceptively simple sanity check can be swiftly railroaded by any of the 7 deadly sins when I'm not diligent. But for today, I'm grateful to have it and I will continue to practice its use.

A work in progress...