Oh, you flirt!

Sometimes, I am surprised at how my Recovery's overall progress manifests itself to me. Much of the time, I can see the direct benefits of working my program through the tangible or rather easily discernible results of living in accordance with the 12 Steps. Likewise, my failures resulting from disregard are also often clearly evident.

But some progress is more difficult to gauge through introspection. For example, self-confidence. Over this past year, the rebuilding of my broken self-confidence has been a steady corollary of working an honest Program. I know that self-confidence is something I can bolster when needed, but I do wonder how I carry & present myself when I am not specifically thinking about it. Do I come across as the confident and self-assured person I desire to be, without having to make a conscious effort to do so?

Admittedly, this may be a rather silly measuring stick (certainly not conclusive!), but I have noticed over the last several weeks that I've often been harmlessly flirted with. Just small things like exchanging a common pleasantry like "Hello" or "Good Morning", but accompanied by her ever so slightly lingering eye contact and hint of an impish smile. Or looking up from my book at a coffee shop and meeting the eyes of an attractive woman looking at me, the slow spread of her smile as our eyes lock for that split-second longer than casual happenstance would dictate, and then we both sheepishly look down again, only to repeat that brief exchange one or two times more before one of us finally quietly departs. Have I simply been oblivious to these occurrences in the past? Perhaps. Or have I changed, and am now "seeing" some of the effects of that increased self-confidence & composure in the way other people interact with me? I'm not sure, but I must admit that I like those particular results either way! ;)

While I can't claim that all of "The Promises" have come true for me yet, I certainly can't deny the steady headway. This gives me strength and encouragement.

A work in progress...